i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
NoShamevember. You game?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Randomize
