That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
