Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
