But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
