The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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