My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
