That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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