so explain again why im purple
no
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
