My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
