the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
