Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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