i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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