We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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