his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
