Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I got inside last night via doggy door
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
