I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
