physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
