So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
