She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
