Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
