i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
