I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
