New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
