so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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