its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
