Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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