Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There's always time for handjobs
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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