Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
