gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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