Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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