I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
