Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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