well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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