i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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