your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
