they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
