hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
