we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
