My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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