Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
