also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im about as happy as oj after his trial
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
