Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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