i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
