I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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