The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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