READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
