so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
