And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We talked him into tasing himself.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
