We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
