just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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