I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
